I’m still throwing papers to the trash and starting all over, fixing, rewriting and improving my talk at mysqlconf 2011, where I will be presenting openark-kit: MySQL utilities for everyday use.
However I’ve got something up my sleeve: a benefit many can enjoy, that’ll make me a respectful, popular and sought after speaker. While others may try and lure you with such earthly temptations as a 20% off discount, I am in a position to offer you a more spiritual gift: my friendship!
See, if you become my friend, I can offer you a 25% discount on the MySQL conference. Yes, that’s 5% more than my competitors! The only thing I ask in return is that you be my friend (hey, it’s called “friends of speaker”). Not like a FB virtual friend, but a real friendship! One where you can buy me beer or dinner!
If you agree to such humane terms, I will be in the position to let you know that all you have to do is fill in mys11fsd in your registration form.
No, wait! I let it slip! Rewrite: You should fill in mys11fsd [will only tell you this password after your commitment to a beer] in your registration form.
Oh no, not again!
Don’t use mys11fsd without talking to me first… You’re not supposed to… Oh, my beer!
Argghhh!